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rachele

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[20 Aug 2003|08:34pm]
My LiveJournal Sitcom
Living sweatshirts (SHOWTIME, 6:30): rachele (Quentin Tarantino) hires uglynerd (James Best) to perform pantomime at a music store. Meanwhile, shes_a_giant (Lindsay Lohan) lets biggityb (Drew Barrymore) borrow a shampoo to impress a masseuse. That night, mcpunky (Forest Whitaker) paints tennyson (Ernest Borgnine)'s car orange. At the same time, bovvergirl (Annette Funicello) accidentally breaks nishathedork (James Marsters)'s PDA. Upstairs, shatteredsmiles (Christina Applegate) gets a job as secretary to gometric (Harry Belafonte). Zany antics ensue.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)
Kiss me you fool

[25 Jun 2003|12:54am]
Happy Deathday!
Your name:rachele
You will die on:Tuesday, February 22, 2033
You will die of:Slipped on Ice
Username:
Created by Quill
Kiss me you fool

[18 Jun 2003|05:35pm]
rachele
Magic Number13
JobSinger
PersonalitySlacker
TemperamentSteely
SexualIf I Have To
Likely To WinThe World Cup
Me - In A WordDull
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

Kiss me you fool

[07 Mar 2003|03:47am]
i'm starting this back up and i'll be friends only

i'm going to put the deep stuffs here.

or try to at least.
Kiss me you fool

[02 Dec 2002|10:53pm]
i met someone.

i'm not 100% sure.

it could be wonderful.

i'm not sure though. i'm so scared

the thought of john was so there. so real. so wonderful.
i'm so sad. i've done it. i've said goodbye. no going back now. ever.


and i say it again.
****
goodbye john. i'm so sorry.
Kiss me you fool

[21 Oct 2002|10:42pm]
so i talked to him
and i had phone sex a couple of times.

and well it's not the same.

i find myself getting mean.

if it's just phone sex i don't want to hear about the video games and trivial bullshit that you spend your time on.
i'm going to listen because i love you but i'm not allowing myself to love you now. so i can't listen

i can't care if you don't.

the phone sex is lacking because there isn't any reality. there isn't anything that says it'll be real.
nothing between us is real now. i expected things. i expected you to follow through as i did. everything i ever said was true.

i don’t even feel bad. i just feel like i lost something really good. like your favorite blanket that someone borrowed and lost. and is really sorry about it but that really doesn't change anything.

i've lost the one thing i really wanted.

a part of me wants to make him feel as bad as he's made me feel.

that's not right though.

i'm tired of being given up.

i'm tired of "I don't want to date you but i'd really love to continue fucking"

I'd like to change places with my vadge. i'd be pretty popular then. everyone would love to date me. just not fuck me.

i just don't really know what to do anymore.
2 I love You*s| Kiss me you fool

[14 Oct 2002|05:36pm]
hurting all over. head, heart, inside (physicaly)

pain comes in so many different ways.
all i want is a way to end the pain
i want the warmth that comes with joy
Kiss me you fool

[10 Oct 2002|02:39pm]
it's not you it's me

which really means it's you and only you.
1 I love You*| Kiss me you fool

[05 Oct 2002|10:11pm]
sometimes i wonder what he's really thinking?
Kiss me you fool

[08 Sep 2002|07:03pm]
i added him to my friends here and i still don't think he's seen it :(
Kiss me you fool

[03 Sep 2002|12:17am]
he said something tonight

about not letting me go. not the exact words but it was along those lines.

i'm happy now
Kiss me you fool

[02 Sep 2002|09:55pm]
[ mood | angry ]

being pissy :(

no call since Friday.

can't help it. just pissed that he can't do what he said he was gonna do.

better call tonight. i don't know what i'll do if he doesn't

i hate being like this.

this hurts me more than anything. not the not calling the way i feel when he doesn't call. the anger.

Kiss me you fool

e-mail i sent [01 Sep 2002|12:51am]
Reason's I Was Being Stupid Last Night
and other random thoughts (and things i wanted to tell you but couldn't)

1. I miss you
2. Nothing here can make me as happy and content as being with you does
3. Being here just makes me realize what I don't have and I'm afraid to ask
for what I need
4. I'm afraid of telling you how I feel. I don't want to hear that you don't
feel the same. I thought before we were on the same page and you told me you
weren't in love with me and although I didn't believe you my runaway brain has
taken that and twisted it into something horrible.
5. I forget at times that you don't always get my obvious hints.
6. I get caught up in my own pain and sadness I forget you are going through
the same things.
7. I want to be with you. I'm afraid though. I'm afraid you'll get tired of me
or a million other things.

Right now the only thing I want to do is lie with you and tell you how much I
care for you. Tell you I love you and don't want to ever be without you.

I can't do that though. I am 3000+ miles away and I'm too afraid to tell you
how I feel. I can write it. I can tell everyone else. I'm just so afraid of
rejection. Telling you makes me only think you'll tell me what I want to hear
and not the truth.

My heart is heavy. I don't know what to do anymore
I dislike having you mad/angry/upset/pissy at me and i'm sorry for being a
brat last night.
Kiss me you fool

I love you her body, mind, eyes screamed at him [31 Aug 2002|10:10pm]
She never could tell him exactly how she felt. Writing it was the most direct she could get. She felt like such a chicken. She was so afraid of hearing that he didn’t feel the same that even though all signs pointed to him loving her. Her heart was capable for loving and being loved. She thought back to the past experiences and she started to realize this was different than the past. She liked him. She loved him, and a little part of her wanted to think maybe she was falling in love with him. For the first time ever. He told her once that he wasn’t in love with her and that had her so scared to even love him. This main part of that was that she knew he was lying. She told him so the night he told her that. The funny thing is that she wasn’t hurt when he said it. She wasn't sure why, the only thing she could think of was that she knew he was lying. She knew that he loved her and was falling just as in love. Her biggest fear was that he would love her but never tell her and she'd leave because he couldn't get over his fears. That she'd be alone forever and no one could ever love her the way he did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love you she said to a dead phone every night.
After she hung up.
I'll love you forever.
I'll love you always she wanted to say to him.
To hear herself say it was almost as good as hearing it back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He told me the sweetest thing last night.

"I almost had to beat Randy up today" (Randy is his roommate)
"Why" I asked a little afraid for him.
"Because he said you were cute"
I laughed
"Can't have nobody lookin sideways at my girl"
"Your' re cuter" I replied
"He didn't say I was cute"
"No you are cuter than he is"
"Oh ok"

I was shocked. Pleased most deff. That's the first time he's ever gotten
possessive over me. He's not possessive by nature so it's a good thing. Made
me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Kiss me you fool

i'm back [28 Aug 2002|11:48pm]
i don't have the time to say all i want to

i love him though

and now every moment without him is unbearable

i'm confused and hurt and sad and i need guidance
Kiss me you fool

[18 Aug 2002|11:05am]
i caught the bouquet at the wedding yesterday...

when he is sad and freaking out and i calm him down

that's when i love him the most.

when he needs me.

funny it's only a slight bit more than when he is sweet and lovey and says the most beautiful things.

stuff you only see in movies.

things i didn't thing people actually said. i can't wait till i'm in his arms
Kiss me you fool

[11 Aug 2002|03:00am]
11 days left.

i'm not sure what it is about him. why i can feel so much already. it scares me and i love it at the same time.
i've never felt this before.
i've never wanted something like this
never done so much for soemthing i wanted

i have a quote somewhere about big risks leading to big love etc.
i can only hope and pray
Kiss me you fool

[06 Aug 2002|07:17am]
sometimes i think you are too good to be true. then again i have to think that maybe just maybe this is what i've been looking for and this is what i get for being semi patient.

you are my prize for the torture i've been put through.

you are my angel sent to love and care for me for eternity or at least the next 5 years.

i'll take whichever.

i believe you'll be worth it.
Kiss me you fool

so... [02 Aug 2002|07:01pm]
i've decided i love him. much more than i probably should. 20 days and i'll know for sure. i've tried so hard not to fall for him this hard.

the new pictures aren't helping at all. it's all i can do to not get lost staring into his eyes. all i really want in the world at this time and place is to lie in his arms. to look in to those eyes and see how he really feels. if he really does love me or his lame cop out comment was true. not that he could know. i mean come on. i don't even let myself believe i'm falling in love with him yet. although i have a lot of love for that boy.

i think it's because he allows me to love him and that is huge. it makes so much more of a decision. i don't' think i've ever experienced this before. it's hard for him i know. it's hard for me to accept all of this. and now that i have tickets. holy shit it's really hard!
Kiss me you fool

sissy is getting married [31 Jul 2002|07:09am]
im so very happy.

she left for reno last night

i really wish men wouldn't get scared and use "I don't love you" as an excuse for breaking up when in reality it's "i'm afraid of being happy/being tied down" etc...


AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'll explain later. time for work :(
Kiss me you fool

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